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Thoughty Culture...

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Location: Bangalore, karnataka, India

Friday, January 20, 2006

"Embarrassing date"...

Folks,

If you didn't see “The Tonight Show”, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!

We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.

Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady her. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." ..And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

"Food for Thought"...

Hey Folks,

We've all been to those meetings where the boss says he wants more than 100 percent. Here is how you can achieve 103 percent...

First, a little math preparation~

How does one achieve 100 percent in life?

Begin by noting the following~

IF: A = 1, B = 2, etc., Y = 25, Z = 26 Then~

H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = only 98 percent Similarly~

K N O W L E D G E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = only 96 percent But interesting (and as you'd expect) ~

A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 percent That is how you achieve 100 percent in life.

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY ~

B U L L S H I T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103 percent.

Moral of the Story...

So now you know what all those high-priced consultants, upper management, and motivational speakers really mean when they want to exceed 100 percent!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

"Ringing into the New Year 2006"...

Hey People,

Let me take the privilege to wish you all a very "Happy and Prosperous New Year 2006"....

My Apologies for not keeping current with this blog. Since I’m a Software Developer who almost spend most of my time in front of a computer for about 8-12hrs a day, one would think I have a story to tell everyday.. Well I don't because my current assignment is pretty boring. This being my first post for 2006, just had time today to blog around..

I strongly feel that a new year is bringing a new beginning, gearing you up to face the new challenges in life. It’s not a romantic feeling of relief. It’s not as though the clock set her hands upon midnight and then wiped my slate clean or anything. It’s just been a self realization that this year will bring new things to my life, for good or for bad—hopefully good, and I need to make room..

My friends and I always have a binge on New Year's Eve. This year we had a countdown, and there was so much of noise and excitement all around. When the clock struck 23:59pm (Midnight) there was pin drop silence. The most reflective 60 seconds of my year. But near midnight, one of the representatives spoke about life and his year as the crowd stood. Then he looked at all angles, leaned into the microphone and in his unique style said in a near whisper, "Happy New Year to one and all..."


It came in a whisper this time, not a countdown nor with a bang, and I thought, "Finally, 2005 is history." So, Happy Birthday. Let's try again. Then the real party began.. We rocked the dance floor... It was great indeed forgetting the past and ringing into a new year with loads & loads of happiness and...

Though, 2005 can bite me. I understand many of you had milestones this year and Fabulous moments worth relishing.

Hope you guys have a great and fun filled year ahead...